A little like my love affair with coffee, I also have a love affair with the gym. Unlike coffee, though, this is a new love that has quickly become almost as non-negotiable. I get up most weekdays around 5 a.m. to go and sometimes even on Saturdays. When someone asks what I’ve been up to, I invariably mention the gym as if it’s the most important thing going on. Frivolous or not, in some ways, it is.

I have a lot of clarity around this new love, but questions from others made me realize that it’s not as clear to them. I was caught off guard recently when someone asked me, “Why do you go to the gym?” The answer is obvious to me, but maybe, from someone else’s perspective, it isn’t. I look like I’m in good shape on the outside so why would I torture myself every day and so early?

Someone else asked me if I had gone to the gym the week before. Again, I was taken aback and slightly offended since this habit is not one I plan to discard like a lipstick shade I’ve grown tired of. “Yes, it’s my favorite thing to do,” I answered, but inside I thought, How dare you question my commitment to the gym.

When it comes to why I go, the answer came easily in bullet points:

• “I want to be healthy.”
• “I’m good at it.”
• “It gives me confidence.”
• “I always feel great afterward.”

The person understood. But there are other, less virtuous reasons that I didn’t say out loud:

• “I’m solidly middle-aged, but maybe I can outsmart old age by pushing myself harder.”
• “I’m filled with vanity.”
• “It feeds my ego.”
• “I can have complete control over this.”

Both the positive and negative reasons contribute to my dedication. In many areas of life, drive often comes from both virtuous and self-serving motivations. Good, selfless people are often driven by selfish desires like more money or power. Without these, there would probably be less growth and persistence on the path to success.

Throughout my life, I’ve been motivated by a mix of self-serving and selfless intentions. In my career, I was driven by selfish reasons, like the desire for money, control, and respect, but there were also selfless motivations, like helping people and moving things forward. Self-awareness is important, though. I didn’t analyze my motivations at the time, but looking back, I believe my path would’ve been less volatile if I had.

Just like in my career, my fitness drive comes from a mix of motivations. Some are self-serving, like the need for validation and control, and some are more virtuous, like wanting to stay healthy. These motivations are complex and multifaceted, but together, they are what keep me showing up.

By practicing self-awareness and embracing both virtuous and self-serving motivations, we can drive ourselves forward in other areas of life. Think about something meaningful and reflect on your motivations honestly without judging yourself. Don’t dismiss the “bad” reasons. Instead, balance them with your selfless motivations, accepting that being human means having a mix of both good and bad. Often, self-serving reasons will be the fire that drives you to your goals faster.